


Straight Back Down to Earth

by raisinghellonstarbug



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bars and Pubs, Blood and Violence, Chicago (City), Drug Dealing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Gun Violence, Hate to Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Murder, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 02:20:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30081984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisinghellonstarbug/pseuds/raisinghellonstarbug
Summary: The year is 1989. Sam Winchester is a longtime detective for the Chicago PD, in his late twenties whose whole life is the job. He is socially inept and seriously damaged from the pain of losing both his parents. His brother Dean and his superior officer Gabriel are the only people who he still has relationships with. Broken but stubborn, he refuses to let anyone become close to him again. But when he’s forced to have a partner after screwing up a lead in the biggest case of his life, he has no choice but to work alongside Castiel, another detective who turns his whole life upside down. Unable to escape from his charm and good natured self, Sam feels he’s been punished. But is it really hate that he feels for this man, or is it something that he hasn’t felt in years?
Relationships: Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Gabriel & Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Real Tyson Brady/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 3





	Straight Back Down to Earth

**Author's Note:**

> This. THIS fic idea and story has been in the works for years. Years! I am so happy that I can now FINALLY share the first chapter with you guys! It has been a long time coming.
> 
> I first came up with this idea back in 2014, so since then I had worked on it slowly and gradually. However, I wasn't working on it all that time and so it's definitely nowhere near completion. In fact I wondered if I would ever publish it. But here we are now and I really am looking forward to reading your thoughts. I can't promise or know for sure that the 2nd chapter will be up that soon as I've been perfecting this chapter for so long that I'm not sure how long I'm going to need for the next one but I hope to have it published in the next month or so.
> 
> Also, just to warn you that this fanfic is going to have a lot of story building and it won't feature Castiel straight away, but he will be introduced in the third chapter for definite. Additionally, this story will include lots of context of the big drug cartel case in the city and police jargon. However, it won't be historically accurate or anything like that. It's just that it will feature a couple of references of the 80s here and there.
> 
> There is also one main original male character that I created who is going to appear from time to time. 
> 
> Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

_**July 7th, 1989**_  
The sun began to rise, glazing over the buildings of the city spreading across the sky that Friday morning, the vibrant colours of blood orange and pink flooding into his window of the apartment; creating a glow of warm light that reflected off the walls. It was dead on 7am when the radio began to play a song that was familiar, its rhythm and calm waves of synthesisers, bass and drums.

The song was a globally successful hit, the political lyrics were soothing, yet dark.  
Tears For Fears had a way of juxtaposing their music with hard words and joyful tunes.

_“All for freedom, and of pleasure,_   
_Nothing ever lasts forever,_   
_Everybody wants to rule the world…”_

Sam stirred from his slumber with a croak in his throat. He felt himself becoming aware that he was now awake, having been disturbed from his deep sleep, his eyes refusing to open before his mind could sit straight. He groaned, insisting to himself that perhaps he could stay in bed just a moment longer, sleeping being the only thing that seemed to bring him content in his life.

The song on the radio was beginning to sound clearer in his mind, being almost grateful that it wasn’t the usual eighties tripe that was often blaring from most people’s speakers. Sam Winchester, the tall and tanned man, reluctantly and gradually flickered his eyes open, finding himself suddenly scrunching one of them closed as he struggled to adjust to the light coming from the outside.

  
Despite there being many beautiful mornings that Sam woke up to, mornings that he could just easily take a moment to appreciate, he did not have an interest in them at all. To him it was any other day and he just wanted to get this day over with so he could get on with the next. This cooped up life that he led was a coping mechanism, a sadness that he refused to get over. He didn’t want a life that most people lead, he just wanted to work. His work was his life.  
Every morning Sam would wake up to the sound of wheels against the track, the squeakiness, the cluttering noise of the trains running back and forth right next to his window. It would always screech when it was getting close to one of the stations. The trains never stopped, always creating a gust of wind that swished his curtains and flapped his paperwork sitting on the table in his bedroom. However, these sounds were soon drowned out once Sam had lived in the city for long enough. He had grown used to the smells, the echoes and the people that shouted loud enough from their bedrooms next door, or when they spoke to one another across the street.

Pushing the covers away from his body, he gradually pulled himself up out of bed towards the bathroom, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he stood up. He dawdled to the sink, only half awake at this point. He turned the tap on and splashed water across his face. He shook his head slightly and rubbed his eyes, blinking to keep them open. Sam then looked in the mirror of his cabinet and sighed. He looked… grey, almost lifeless. He was healthy at least.

Sam did not really consider his appearance much, the only thing he ever considered was when he needed another haircut once his mop got too long. He always shaved, a stubble already appearing on his chin and jaw. His hair a golden brown, his eyes when they were at their brightest, a sparkling hazel. He certainly was a good looking man but failed to recognise or even care about it.

Six years ago today; the twenty seven year old joined the force. But as work was his entire life, this made Sam Winchester an unusual detective.

Working for the homicide division at the 11th Chicago PD’s precinct, he was a man who kept himself closed off from practically everybody. He lived alone, in his fairly spacious apartment in the centre of Chicago city. He found it comfortable and secure. He liked to think that being alone is what got him through, as it meant not having any emotional attachment to anyone, and so he never had to rely on anyone but himself. Sam did not care whether it was a stupidly irrational way to live his life or not - it was what he did.

  
He felt that he was practical; whereas others thought he was cynical. This wasn’t helped by his lack of interaction. He didn’t go to the bar like the other guys and chat up women. He didn’t socialise with his co-workers. He would just get up, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, go to the gym for a couple of hours, then go home, eat dinner and sleep. That was all he knew best.

He avoided as much talking as he could each day. He didn’t seem to like talking, or either that he had somehow forgotten how talking actually worked. This coping mechanism he had concocted helped keep his guard up, and he had mastered this ever since he joined the force.  
He also liked having space in his apartment, it gave him the luxurious feel of freedom. He had only his thoughts which made things peaceful.  
Colleagues of Sam believed that he took himself too seriously. Most cops at his precinct liked to dick around, but not Sam. He did not eat a gazillion doughnuts everyday, and he certainly did not talk around the water cooler to the other guys about which chick they would like to ‘score in bed’. He hated that. The only thing that was stereotypical of him was his love for coffee. But that was excusable when you worked long hours.

So usually, each day would go by with Sam barely acknowledging anyone unless he had to. He was good at being civil, and he certainly seemed comfortable talking to his Lieutenant, but that was about it. The other detectives were wary of him most of the time and uncertain whether he was trustworthy. But he hardly paid attention to gossip or small talk.

He sure did observe them though. He saw everything but made damn sure that no one knew that. The officers in his team quickly learnt that he was not worth trying to get any acknowledgement, where some of them also thought he was big headed, as if he were better than them. But Sam didn’t care for their opinions, he just happened to be apathetic and lacked interest in knowing them. He had learnt from his past that being sensitive, friendly, or open had gotten him nowhere.

When working on paperwork for the next investigation, or when he actually had to interrogate a suspect, he did it alone. He’s never had a partner in the five years of being a detective. However, he was promoted to a detective for his uncanny problem solving skills and was referred to as excellent at solving crimes and catching killers by the Lieutenant. He was rarely out of shape or out of his mind. He often knew what he was doing. Lieutenant Novak thought he was the most intelligent officer of the actual force, let alone his precinct. Nevertheless, he had begun to feel more concerned about his solitary attitude and grew tired of Sam disregarding his advice.

He’d always say something on the lines of, _“Sam, I really do believe that a partner would be better for your morale. I would rather you didn’t get shot for your careless attitude. You’re one of the best detectives in this precinct, but you won’t be much longer if you don’t start to loosen up.”_ But as usual, Sam would roll his eyes and sarcastically chuckle, _“Come on Lieutenant, you know it will never work.”_ Gabriel would fold his arms and sigh, sipping his coffee and often realising that what he tried to do with Sam sometimes felt pointless.

The problem with Sam Winchester was that he was too used to being alone. As much as he would refuse to admit it, his past was mostly to do with his deliberate lonerism. He and his brother’s mom died of cancer when Sam was only six. This did hit him pretty hard at first, but because they still had their father, Sam was able to accept that death can happen and gradually move on from the pain.  
Of course he got along with his mom and he loved her dearly, and she would certainly never be forgotten, but it hadn’t detrimentally affected him. He was too young to take it as badly as Dean did.

But when Sam was studying at college, their dad John, who was also a police officer, got shot when he was working a case. This was what really destroyed him. He had an estranged relationship with his and Dean’s father, and a lot of the time they disagreed. Despite their disagreements, John was everything to Sam. He was still his father after all. So once John died, everything went wrong after that and Sam had never been the same since.

During the time between Sam still being at school and joining the force, he got into a handful of one night stands and rocky relationships where he would usually be the one to end them. Sam pushed everyone away that once was close with him around seven years beforehand. He slowly deteriorated and soon he had no one left apart from his brother. Occasionally he did get a call from his ex Brady to see how he was. But Sam had let go of that relationship a long time ago. He sometimes wondered if Brady had not, but he couldn’t pretend that he felt the same anymore. It’s possible that he broke Brady’s heart. Sam felt uncomfortable acknowledging that. Brady was better off without him.

He has kept all of his pain in, having deliberately sacrificed things that weren’t necessary to sacrifice. After all the pain he went through, he never wanted to be close to anyone ever again. He even managed to shut out his own older brother Dean from his life, who is a sergeant in the NYPD.

Well, sort of. Dean checked up on him a couple of times a week. Unfortunately, Sam would just talk to him begrudgingly. Sometimes it made Dean want to kick his teeth in. But he knew he didn’t want to let his silly younger brother Sammy win. He knew he had to look after him. He definitely understood what he had gone through, but Sam had forgotten that he wasn’t the only one who went through it.  
But then Dean never really showed how he felt about their father’s death to Sam. Dean stayed strong and would always lend his shoulder for Sam to cry on if need be. But once the crying stopped, Sam became distant and cold. He changed for what might be forever.

Dean was still trying to refuse to accept this and that maybe one day, just one day, Sam would come out of this cave he built around himself and just be back to how he used to be. Dean broke his own heart every time believing that he would change.

But despite all this, both of them had planned to head into the same path as their father. This was a sort of legacy for John’s hard work and his determination. He was one of the best lieutenants in the state of Dean and Sam’s hometown in Kansas. Their father John served for KCPD for 25 years, having been 50 when he got shot. It was just at the time when John was considering retirement.

Even though Dean may secretly have been more affected by their father’s death, it was another excuse for Sam to be how he had become. It was another reason why he refused to have a partner. He has dwelled on the anger for a long time that he has felt towards John’s partner and the man, or the cold blooded criminal who shot him; Robert Azazel. He was still not completely over it and Dean has often tried to get through to him so that he could stop being so cynical, so full of fury.

Sadly, Sam has stopped caring and arguably, because he once cared too much. Ever since then, Sam has refused to open up to anyone because if he did, it would terrify him. This is why he only talked to Gabriel and why he had no friends. Nobody in the city knew anything about him and Sam liked to keep it that way. If anyone ever asked Dean about how Sam truly felt, it would be that Sam did want to have relationships with people and he would want to have a happier life. But Sam couldn’t bring himself to go back to feeling that way. He felt it to be a lot easier to just keep everyone at a distance.  
Dean knew though that somehow there had to be a little bit left of him, a little bit that was the most caring person Dean had ever known, that maybe, just maybe… Sam did have a little compassion left. And that compassion went to Gabriel, despite not wanting his Lieutenant to know this. Perhaps the only reason Sam ever felt that this was justifiable was because he couldn’t treat his Lieutenant like shit.

But secretly, Sam saw Gabriel almost as a friend and Gabriel was soft on him, despite having been tougher lately due to Sam’s stubbornness. Nevertheless, he still struggled to be open with Gabriel, and even he hadn’t seen Sam at his most vulnerable. But Gabriel knew, he saw the look in Sam’s eyes whenever he walked into his office, the darkness that had left him so damaged.  
It actually hurt Gabriel sometimes because he did care about him and hated seeing him this way. Sam had two ways of putting his guard up, one way was to be blunt and assertive, or to laugh a situation off. Sam had a wicked sense of humour that he only shared with Gabriel, but aside that, Sam stayed serious most of the time. It was the only way Sam could cope.

The problem that Sam was going to face one day was that he wouldn’t be able to hold in all the pain for much longer. It was slowly eating him away and if he didn’t change anytime soon, it would only get worse. Of course Sam knew this deep down, but he also knew how love can cause so much pain… and the pain that he had once felt was something he really didn’t want to go through again. He didn’t want to go through it for anyone.

Sam did used to open up to people before, but as the six years in the precinct had gone by, it had only got harder to do so; to the point that Sam gave up on the idea. Sam imagined that if he had opened up to his colleagues within the year that he became a cop, he would probably be celebrating with them for his sixth year anniversary. Alas, he would just sit at his desk and do his work, the same as any other day.

So when Sam walked into the precinct, the only thing that really intrigued him was the fresh smell of filter coffee that came from the kitchen area.

As he walked over there, he accidentally bumped into one of the other detectives, who gave him a stink eye as he sheepishly apologised and looked away from him. That was Detective Winters. Winters didn’t like Sam. Well it wasn’t that he disliked him, but more so that he disliked Sam’s introverted behaviour and was evidently the opposite of Sam. He was a stereotypical cop, the sneery one of the group, who liked to make fun of others for his own amusement. If anything, it was Sam who disliked him.

  
“Hey Winchester! Still got a cork up your ass?”

It was a usual jeer from Winters, which Sam had learnt to ignore. It was like white noise these days.

Sam just shook his head like always when it came to Winters and smirked to himself, settling himself comfortably in the kitchen. He grabbed a standard coffee mug from the cupboard and poured the ready made coffee into the cup. He then found a spoon on the side and the sugar next to it, placing a couple of spoonfuls into his cup. He stirred the sugar, placed the spoon into the sink next to the coffee maker and walked back to his desk. Just as he was about to sit down, his desk phone began to ring. Sam contemplated leaving it, taking a sip from his cup and looking down at the phone wondering if it might just stop for his sake.

After a few seconds he realised it was going to carry on, and he dreaded whoever it might be. He put his cup down on the desk and slowly picked up the receiver. Sam answered in a blunt but formal tone, “Hello. Detective Winchester speaking.” These were often the first words he spoke of the day.

“Sam! Guess who?” Sam rolled his eyes, placing his elbow on to his desk and plumping his body forward, recognising the voice of his elder brother down the other line.

He huffed, “yes Dean?”

“Happy sixth year anniversary! You thought I would forget, didn't ya?”

“I kinda hoped you would. Is that all you rang up to say?”

“Well no, not just that. I just wanted to see how you were getting on. Is today the day you get a partner?”

“No Dean. For the millionth time you know I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Yeah but I bet your boss Novak is still going to try. And too right too because you can’t keep denying his requests to get a partner when your superior officer is asking you to!”

“Dean, you know I can’t. The lieutenant knows that.”

“But Sam, you can and you must. No matter how many times you’ve tried to cut me off I’m not going anywhere. And you know damn well that this partner problem won’t disappear either. If you want to become a sergeant, you need a partner.”

“Dean. Please just stop ringing me, okay?”

Sam is ready to put the phone down.

“Look. Please don’t hang up alright? I mean… would it kill ya to stop being such a misery guts?”

“Yes, because you know where that has gotten me before.”

“Oh right yes sorry. Happiness, right? Is there where it got you?” Dean retorts sarcastically.

Sam rolled his eyes once again, a natural reaction that he never seemed to stop doing. His shoulders slumped and he began to fiddle with the cable of the phone. Not really knowing what else to say to his stupid older brother. Well, he’s not stupid. Just annoying and persistent.

“What do you want me to do Dean? Lighten up?”

“Yes, God it would be a miracle! Me and Lieutenant Novak are the only ones you talk to. Would it have killed you to have made friends?”

Sam swallowed a lump in his throat. He really was not comfortable talking about this. He never was. As he had realised before, there was no use in trying to make friends at this point. He had left it too long to make anyone change their minds about him now.

“Dean, I’ve been here for six years now. What makes you think these other officers will ever look at me differently to how they look at me now? They think I’m uptight, obnoxious and too stuck up my own ass to even talk to anyone.”

“Well Sam, believe it or not, but don’t you think it might be to do with the fact that you don’t talk to them? There’s a thing called being friendly. And you know, they’re not completely wrong, you are uptight.”

“I don’t have anything in common with them. Sure, these guys are alright, they seem like a decent bunch, but I don’t have any reason to communicate with them.”  
There was a sigh on the other end, which indicated that Dean was as frustrated with Sam as Sam was with Dean.

“Okay Mr Know It All, you seem to have it all figured out. I guess your feelings about people are truly set in stone huh?”

Sam swallowed another lump in the back of his throat. He thought for a moment about what Dean said, and although he didn’t want to admit it, deep down he had let himself get too far down the rabbit hole, and he didn’t know how to get out of it. This wasn’t just a simple problem, this exterior that he surrounded himself with had been meticulously built up for the last few years. There was a sigh from the other end of the telephone line.

“Sammy… just… I love you, okay? You’re my little brother, and believe it or not, I am trying to help you.”

Sam wanted to smile, but he held it in. There was a part of him that still tingled when his elder brother would get soppy on him. Sam was very stubborn, however a part of him still couldn’t deny that he did care about Dean and he always would. But Sam wasn’t going to let him know that.

‘Are you working this weekend?” Dean took Sam back out of his thoughts.

“Probably. I have a workload.”

“Ha, being a detective seems easy compared to this amount of paperwork being a sergeant. Speaking of which, I should go. But please. Do know I am always here.”

“Thanks… Dean.”

“You should be taking care of yourself out there. The last thing I would want is to hear that you got killed. Just at least consider a partner…”

“I-I… can’t.”

“Look Sam… I get it. But come on, you have been avoiding this for too long. You’ll regret it sooner or later.”

“Go back to work Dean…”

  
“Okay okay. But I will be ringing you again!”

Dean then hung up.

Sam put the receiver back down on the base of his telephone. He stared down at the phone, lost in his thoughts.

“How the hell do you make friends?” Sam pondered.

He didn’t need friends. They were a waste of time. However he knew that with what he had gone through these last 16 years, anybody would think that in fact, friends were the opposite of a waste, but rather a positive aspect of life. While this being another reason that Sam would not care to admit to, he also was unable to deny that if Dean had given up on him by now, he would definitely be lost within the demons that followed him.

Lieutenant Novak was always on the receiving end of this stubbornness, and once again, was about to choose his timing perfectly.

A creak of the Lieutenant’s door spun Sam out of his trance. He looked up, and heard his superior’s deep voice thickened with a subtle Tennessee twang.

“Sam? I need to speak to you in my office now please.”

Sam sighed and got up from his desk, leaving his gun and badge next to the phone. He walked into his Lieutenant’s compact office and saw Gabriel sat at his desk, smoking a cigarette. That was probably already his tenth cigarette that morning.

“You know, those things could kill you right?”

“So you keep telling me. Please take a seat Sam.”

Sam took a chair that was placed in front of Gabriel’s desk. The office was its usual, stuffy and untidy self. The walls were slowly decaying over time, the off white-ish colour combined with the basic furniture gave no sign of any personality or character of the room.

The only aspect that made it evident this was Gabriel’s office was the mess. All of Gabriel’s paperwork was scattered across the table, books were stacked up on his shelves and the fan was going full blast to keep the smoke at bay. It was probably a long time since the office had a spring clean, dust piling up everywhere. If it was Sam’s office, he would have kept it completely spotless. This was where he and Gabriel were different.

“Now, you know why I called you into my office dontcha?” Gabriel looked at Sam with a stern expression, taking a drag from his cigarette.

After a moment he laughed, stood up from his chair and ushered for Sam to give him a hug. Sam rolled his eyes and reluctantly smiled, accepting a brief embrace from his superior officer.

“Six years Sammy! That’s great isn’t it? You should pat yourself on the back!”

Sam shrugged, not really looking at Gabriel in the eye, and lacked a sense of enthusiasm towards his achievement. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and tried to get Sam’s attention.

“Hey, you. Look, you have worked damn hard in this force, and I am damn proud. But how can you just stand there and not give me any indication that you’re pleased or glad to be a detective, a part of this brilliant precinct? Give yourself some credit man, it’s ok to do that you know… it doesn’t make you arrogant or conceited, it’s ok to be pleased with your achievements. I mean hell Sam, you have the best track record over every detective in this joint! Come on, give me something!” Gabriel ushered with his arms as a gesture to express him needing Sam to give a reaction. He sat back down on his chair.

Sam bit his lip, scratched his head and wondered what to say. He began to open his mouth, reluctant but also knowing that he needed to be gracious, especially as Gabriel had done so much for him.

“Ok I get it, it is a brilliant achievement. Still, you know I’m not the celebrating type. Thank you Gabe for having my back.”

“Hmmm, that’s better. Speaking of backs, I might have yours in the office, but who has yours when you’re out on the field?”

Sam scoffed, looking away and avoiding the question. _Shit, I knew he would bring this up again. He is almost as bad as Dean._

“Come on Sam, you know this is vital. Besides, I have the case to talk to you about.”

Sam snapped his head to attention, the talk of a case.

  
“What case?”

Gabriel chuckled, taking the last drag from his cigarette and putting it out into the ashtray.

“I figured that would get your attention. Oh this case Sam, is the case. This case could be the one that gets you promoted. It is big and it is crucial that we get it right. I have you and others working on this case, but I would like you to be in charge of this one.”

Sam’s eyebrows raised, a hint of a smile spreading on his lips. _I’m going to be in charge? Oh hell I have wanted this for so long…_

Sam smugly replied, “Are you sure Gabe? I don’t even have a partner…”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and scoffed at Sam’s reaction. He got up from his seat and stood up slowly, moving closer to Sam and standing right in front of him.

“Look. I have to be straight with you about this. This is a really serious case. It is full of murders, drugs and it’s an operation that needs to be shut down.”

Sam nodded, his expression hardening and acknowledging the importance of the matter.

“Between you and me, we have a new Captain who has recently begun to get on my case about this. He is getting agitated Sam, he is not happy that I’m not forcing you to play the rules. He’s desperate for you to get a partner and he strongly believes that if you don’t, he reckons it will bite you in the ass when you least expect it.”

Gabriel grabbed a cigarette from his pack on the desk and lit it up. He slumped himself on his desk on top of his paperwork, waiting for Sam’s response.

_Shit, what the hell am I supposed to say to that?_

Sam sighed, biting his lip again and contemplating what he had just been told. He had been fearing this, but he didn’t realise it was as an urgent matter as he was made to believe. It was all about the Captain looking good. He knew it was all politics.

_Or is it really that vital I get a partner?_

“Ok Gabe, let me think about this. Let me consider it.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have long. Michael wants me to make it happen as soon as, especially as it’s against code. You’ve never had a partner, and it can’t stay like that.”

“But Lieutenant, you know my track record. You know I have done fine without a partner. I’m an exception. The Captain should know that.”

“Oh he knows you’re an exception. But he’s not buying it for much longer. He doesn’t want one of our best detectives to get shot just like your father did. He knows what happened and well, he’s not the most sympathetic type. He thinks you’ve had plenty of time to grieve. He is not happy about this and now, he has had his boss the Commissioner up his ass! It’s a fucking vicious chain of command...”

Sam’s jaw tightened and he frowned. His fists rapidly tightened. He stood up from out of his chair abruptly, his face screwed up in fury.

“Oh fuck him for bringing up my father like that! That’s not right. I don’t care whether the Captain thinks so. I’m tired of all this political bull.”

“He’s my boss Sam, what the hell can I do? You need to make a decision by next week otherwise we’re in deep shit. I am asking you as a favour. Please help me out here.”

Sam tutted and groaned heavily. He began to pace around the room contemplating whether the ground could just swallow him up whole or if there was something that could be done to prevent this.

Sam was not ready.

He really dreaded having a partner. He would rather he got shot than have a partner. If he became too close or too connected to them and then was ever careless, then there could be a risk of their death. He did not want that kind of blood on his hands. In his experience, being close to people meant they got killed or the pain of losing them would be too great that he could never fully recover from it. He had enough pain to last a lifetime and refused to accept anymore of it.

“Think of something Gabe, I can’t go through with it. The pain-”

Gabriel hardened expression softened slightly. He rolled his eyes slightly and sighed.  
“I wish it could be that easy. I’m telling you I’ve put off the Captain for as long as I could about this. You need to find some closure on this and well, somehow in your way, get over the pain. Otherwise you’ll never be happy again Sam.”

Sam bellowed with a hint of desperation in his voice, “Being happy is not all that it’s cracked up to be! You could just lose the happiness all fucking over again!”

His chest was heaving up and down from his pent up temper. A slight tear had begun to fall down his cheek which he angrily wiped away before Gabriel could notice it. It also hadn’t noticed that he had shouted loud enough that some of the detectives were trying to peer in through the window of the office. Sam then felt them staring and looked out toward them in fury. They looked away quickly and pretended like nothing had happened. Gabriel cleared his throat. Sam turned his attention back to him with a scowl still planted across his face. Gabriel began to speak matter-of-factly.

“Sam. You can be happy again. And I guarantee that this will be a part of it.”

He smiled meekly at Sam who was towering over him. Sam’s chest began to ease down and he chewed his lip.

“That better be a promise Lieutenant.”

* * *


End file.
